Know When Isolation In A Person With Dementia Is Detrimental
Have you ever wondered why your loved one with dementia suddenly isolates themselves or acts differently?
In this coaching-style episode, we explore the importance of uncovering patterns and triggers behind dementia-related behaviors.
By becoming a “dementia detective,” caregivers can better understand the “why” behind the “what” and create a safer, calmer environment for their loved ones.
Behavior Isn’t Random: Understanding the Triggers
One key lesson from this episode is that behaviors, even those that seem random, are usually tied to underlying triggers.
For example, if your loved one retreats to a garage or quiet space, it might be their way of decompressing from overstimulation. Alternatively, certain times of the day may spark memories of past routines, such as going to work or taking a morning tea break.
Key Questions to Ask:
1. What happened right before this behavior?
2. Is there a pattern—specific times, people, or environments?
3. Is the behavior linked to their past routines or habits?
By observing patterns, caregivers can gain valuable insights and address behaviors in a way that reduces frustration for both themselves and their loved ones.
Practical Tips for Managing Isolation or Wandering
1. Allow Safe Alone Time:
Spending time alone can be healthy, as long as it’s safe. Regularly check on your loved one and ensure their environment is secure.
2. Prevent Wandering Risks:
If they retreat to a specific space, like a garage, make sure it’s safe and that they can’t wander off.
3. Redirect Attention:
Use gentle prompts like offering a cup of tea or engaging them in a calming activity to bring them back when they’ve had enough alone time.
Read more: 206. Can Your Christian Faith Improve Your Dementia Caregiving Experience
Why Caregiving Requires Community Support
This episode emphasizes the value of joining a caregiver community early in the dementia journey.
Being part of a supportive group allows you to learn what questions to ask, understand behavioral patterns, and gain practical strategies before a crisis arises.
Faith-based caregiving communities, like those discussed in this episode, provide not only practical help but also spiritual encouragement, helping caregivers align their journey with their values and beliefs.
Faith and Patience in Caregiving
Navigating dementia caregiving requires more than practical strategies—it demands patience, understanding, and faith.
By leaning on God’s guidance and remembering your loved one’s unique history, you can approach challenges with grace and compassion.
Ever Wonder How To Know What Is Causing Your Caregiver Stress?
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https://www.dementiacaregivingmadeeasy.com/dca
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Upstate Nonprofits Receive Funding Boost to Expand Dementia Services.
Transcript
[0:00] From teaching a grandson how to be the caregiver to managing the emotional outbursts or being concerned about the effects of being alone, every dementia family has their unique challenges.
[0:16] In today’s episode of Dementia Caregiver Support for Christians, we are having a live Dementia caregiver support in action segment all the way from across the pond. Hey, Christian Care Champion, welcome to Dementia Caregiver Support for Christians.
[0:36] The podcast where I teach Bible believing Christians how to make dementia care easier today while also helping you focus on tomorrow. If you are a Christian spouse, the adult child, or a family member of a person living with dementia and you want to find an easier way, this podcast is for you. Here we look at kingdom-focused caregiving. We honor the Lord Jesus Christ in our caregiving and we show you practical ways to make your caregiving journey easier. If you haven’t yet signed up for a free strategy call, I invite you today to hop on my calendar and spend 20 minutes with me and I will help you with your most pressing challenge that you are experiencing right now in your dementia caregiving journey. Let’s start the new year off in a good and positive and God-honoring way. I hope that you will take me up on my invitation to have a strategy call and
Navigating Caregiving Challenges
[1:43] just see how I can support you through this journey. Now, on to our Dementia Caregiver Support in Action segment.
[1:54] You have no idea. So how do you help you today? Well, as I said, it was about Paula’s first question and that was navigating through to the path. So that one sorted. I can’t remember what the other one is. But as we were progressing through with the others, you helped with things that because I’m the daughter of, my mum is full-time carer and my nephew supports her. He moved in to support, so the grandchild’s in there. And she teaches him everything because he will be the one that will eventually move on to do the personal cares, being a male. It seems more comfortable. It would be more comfortable. I don’t mind doing it, but I don’t know. Let me. That’s the problem. Who has dementia? Dad. Your dad? Yes. And dad lives with mom? Yes. Okay. And grandson moved in? Yes. Okay. And supporting mom to care for him. So we kind of do when she needs to go out. Okay. I will come over. Good. When she needs her own time out, she will go to bingo. How long has your dad had? He is 79. I’m looking at maybe 15 years. Okay. And do you know what type? No. So what kind of struggles are you guys having right now?
Understanding Emotional Dynamics
[3:11] As you were talking with the other ladies, I could understand having the same emotions, taking on other emotions. Yeah that’s one and that’s why I had to talk to mum about just being calm and she goes yes I know I’ve had to figure that one out herself because when she gets anxious he gets anxious and then I get the phone call and I’m coming over so I have to go and diffuse quite a few times and that’s okay I just come in and I said hey what’s going on sometimes it’s good sometimes it’s not but as long as I’m cheery. Keep it on the high note. If I can hear him having some words, some angry words, I may pop in after he said those words and I go, hi, how are you doing? Just arrived because I’m always just arriving. Absolutely.
[3:57] You’re intuitively really good at this. So I’m always just arriving. I go, hey, cup of tea time. And he’ll stop. And he goes, not right now. And I go, okay, you just let me know and I’ll bring it right out. So those are the things that we’re dealing with now because it’s obviously progress time alone he likes time alone that’s is that a normal thing because we let him have that time but we don’t want it to be too long okay so when you say he wants time alone what do you mean by that he will go into the into the garage which is separate from the house and spend time alone in there by himself and he likes it what does he do he just sits there sometimes okay and because because in there we have excess furniture table chairs, sofas. So he could sit and… No power to… No, no. We’ve removed those. I’m just making sure, girl. I’m just making sure. We’ve removed those and we’ve removed… You know, I’m on the other side of the world. I have to ask.
[4:52] Yeah, no, that’s fine. We already know that he… Because he can take things apart and we can’t put them back together. We can’t put them back together. When he isolates himself like that, is it just for a short period of time or is it like for extended period? We don’t let it go beyond too long. Okay. You know, we come out and check and say cup of tea time. And if it’s a yes, that means good. If it’s a no, then we will come back again in about five, 10 minutes and do it again. Okay. Yes. Here’s a couple of things that I can help you with. We’ve only got about five minutes, but here are a couple of things that may help you understand what’s going on. People living with, or frame it for you in a way that may make it ease your freedom. I’ll give you some things. Is this a thing for freeing from us? I’ll give you a couple of things to look for. Yeah. If he’s removing himself and you’re not letting him sit there for seven hours by himself, et cetera, and… You’re able to bring him in and you check on him every five, 10 minutes and say, hey, it’s time for a cup of tea until he’s ready after a half hour or an hour to come back in. And his behavior is fine. He’s even keeled. Then I don’t think there’s anything wrong with him having some alone time.
[6:04] But if he’s when he comes back, he’s he’s annoyed and agitated.
Observing Patterns in Behavior
[6:10] And so you kind of have to try and figure out the why behind the what. Right. Why is he doing what he’s doing? Is the house in the, like, I would pay attention to the, when he does this, what’s been going on right before. Is there 25 people in the house, the music’s on, that is on, everybody’s talking and he goes because he’s overstimulated and needs decompressed? Or is the house quiet and nothing’s going on and he’s just maybe bored and goes to room you have to kind of turn into a dementia detective um and so you pay attention just pay attention to when it is what happened right and pay attention to like very specific who’s there yeah what time of day is it always the same of day what’s the pattern look for pad because i bet you there’s a reason and we don’t know what it is. So I’ll just give a couple of stupid examples.
[7:10] Say it is eight o’clock every single morning that he does this and it’s in the garage and he left to go to work around that time of day. Maybe his brain is like, oh, it’s time to be in the garage because I should be getting in the car, right? Or It’s five o’clock in the afternoon, every afternoon, and maybe it’s like, oh, I should have just come home from work. I should be in the garage because maybe I always did stuff in the garage, like woodworking. Yeah, that sounds about right. Some of the time frames here.
[7:39] You understand what I mean? Yeah. He’s usually up at the crack of dawn, and I’m thinking around eight o’clock is probably when he would have had his first break, morning tea break at work. So I think, yeah, he separates himself from us. And he goes, yeah. So just look for the pattern. Look for the pattern and think about his life, history before. Yeah. And then as long as it’s safe, as long as he can’t get out of the garage and wander away from home, as long as you guys are checking on him and he’s not overly isolated the rest of the time, I wouldn’t worry. Oh, yeah. Because I’m always wondering about wandering as well. But that’s why when he’s in the garage, we just keep an eye out and even going
Community Support and Resources
[8:26] to the mailbox because every day is checking the mailbox all the time. People who are really benefiting from the community are the people who joined earlier on.
[8:35] Before they need it, and that have been active and are participating in the community because then they already know what questions to ask and they have a place to come and they’re not constantly wondering, what do I need to do? How do I need to do it? So people listening are interested in tapping into or learning about the community. I’d invite you to just go to the website, thinkdifferentdementia.com. There’s a link for you to schedule a 20-minute call. There’s no pressure. I’ll serve you regardless of whether you join the community or not. But it is a way for you to take this relationship a little deeper.
[9:10] A little bit more hands-on support because really the research also shows it’s longitudinal support over time. Yeah, for sure. I would highly recommend Lizette. She’s awesome.
[9:23] I appreciate that endorsement. You are well. Thank you, everybody, for listening today.
Conclusion and Future Episodes
[9:28] And as I try to remember, I try to remember, I don’t always remember. May the Lord bless you and keep you. And come back and listen some more. I’m hoping to do more of these coaching-style episodes on a Friday. So come back and check us out. And thank you for being here today.
