How to Look Biblically At The Lies About Dementia The World Tells (Part 1)
What if the biggest struggles you’re facing as a caregiver aren’t just from the outside—but from the lies you’ve unknowingly believed?
In Episode 247, we expose 5 common lies the world tells Christian dementia caregivers—and replace them with biblical truth that brings peace, clarity, and hope.
If you’ve ever felt like your loved one is “losing themselves,” or you’re “alone in this,” this episode will realign your heart with God’s truth and remind you that caregiving is not just a burden—it’s a calling shaped by God’s sovereign design.
Lie #1: “They’re losing who they are.”
It’s painful when your loved one forgets names, faces, or moments. But their value isn’t based on memory.
🧠 The truth: Our identity is rooted in being made in the image of God
Genesis 1:27 reminds us that we are created in His image—not defined by our thinking ability. Memory loss doesn’t erase that truth.
Lie #2: “Dementia is a tragedy.”
Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it’s heartbreaking. But it’s not senseless.
🙏 The truth: Dementia is part of living in a fallen world—and God is sovereign over it.
Romans 8:28 reminds us that God works all things for our good and His glory—even this.
Lie #3: “You just have to survive this.”
The world says to grit your teeth and push through. But survival isn’t the goal.
🔥 The truth: This caregiving journey is part of your sanctification.
God is using it to make you more like Christ—refining your character, building perseverance, and deepening your dependence on Him.
Lie #4: “Dignity is earned—and lost.”
If a person can’t dress themselves, speak clearly, or remember, are they still dignified?
💛 The truth: Dignity is given by God and can never be taken away.
Psalm 139 reminds us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made—from the womb to the final stages of life.
Lie #5: “You’re all alone in this.”
When dementia isolates your loved one, it can isolate you too. But isolation doesn’t mean abandonment.
✝️ The truth: You are never alone—God is with you, and His Church should be too.
Galatians 6:2 calls us to bear one another’s burdens. You don’t have to hide your struggles from your church or community. Speak up. Let people walk with you.
Trade the Lies for Truth—and Walk This Journey With Peace
You weren’t called to walk this road alone. You were called to walk it with Christ—and with a church that supports you.
Caregiving is not just a response to decline. It’s a response to God’s call to love, serve, and reflect His character in a broken world.
🎧 Tune in to Episode 247 and break free from these lies so you can walk your caregiving journey with truth, peace, and biblical clarity.
Join our monthly free workshop!
“How To Immediately Reduce Dementia Caregiver Overwhelm and Stress In 3 Easy Steps”
Transcript
Unmasking Caregiver Lies
[0:00] The world tells you that dementia steals people’s dignity, that you’re alone, [0:07] and that you can only expect to survive this journey. But none of that is true. In today’s episode, we’re unmasking the first five lies that caregivers frequently believe, and we’re going to replace them with biblical truth that brings clarity, peace, and direction. If you are a Christian and you are struggling with God’s sovereignty or God’s providence, reach out to me. I will have a conversation happily with you about God’s providence and God’s sovereignty and help you along in your journey. If you are struggling as a family caregiver and you’re ready for a little bit more support, hop on a Care Companion success call with me will take 20 minutes where you will be able to talk to me, gain some clarity about your very next step that you need to take in this journey, as well as have a conversation about whether or not it makes sense for both you and for me for us to work together to help you through your dementia caregiving journey.
[1:14] Hey Christian Care Companion, welcome to Dementia Caregiver Support for Christians, the podcast where I teach Bible-believing Christians how to approach dementia care differently. Because we’re made in the image of God, our value does not fade with our memory. And caregiving is not random. It is by God’s design.
[1:38] This isn’t a medical model. It’s not just about managing symptoms or avoiding caregiver burnout. It is a relationship-centered, biblical model that helps you care with purpose and live with peace. If you are a Christian spouse, the adult child, or a family member walking this road, you are in the right place. And if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the day-to-day of dementia care, like you’re always reacting but never really making progress, I want to invite you to our monthly free workshop. Join me on Saturday, May the 10th at 12 p.m. Easter for a free live workshop. It is how to immediately reduce dementia caregiver overwhelm and stress in three easy steps. You’ll learn one mindset shift that brings you real peace, a communication tool that diffuses daily frustrations, and how having a simple plan can change everything about caregiving. This is about building clarity and confidence rooted in truth and not fear. Register today at thinkdifferentdementia.com and let us build something better.
[2:56] Together. Now, let us get started with today’s episode 247, how to look biblically at the lies about dementia that the world tells us. So, many of you know that we emigrated from South Africa in 1993. My parents moved in 2008, and when they emigrated, they literally brought everything they owned. And I am not kidding you. They brought everything they owned. It scares me to no end to think about having to clear out my dad’s house eventually when he passes away, because in the guest room, in a cabinet in the guest room, there are slides. Now, I don’t know if you know, but slides you need a projector for. They are the thing that everybody used to do in South Africa. I don’t know if people did that here in the United States. But in order for us now to see what’s on the slides, you have to hold them up to the light, you have to peer through them, and then you can see the person who was taken a photo of. I’m sure there are photos of me, slides of me and my sister when we were small. However.
[4:12] There are hundreds and probably thousands of slides of people. I don’t know who they are. They meant something to my parents. They are friends or family members. They’re people they’ve known for years. But to me, they are strangers.
[4:29] And yet, I’ve never actually thought that those people don’t have value because I don’t remember them, right? They meant something to someone. They have value inherently just because they were or are people, if they are still alive, right? So the same thing is true for people living with dementia. They may forget moments, they may forget people’s names, but their value isn’t tied to what they remember or who remembers them. So today, that’s why we’re going to start with the five lies the world tells us about our identity and why these lies are not true. Because memory loss does not erase a person’s worth. The way God has designed the world doesn’t fade. So the first lie that the world tells us is that they have lost who they are, that they are not a complete person because they don’t remember. But the reality is, the truth is, our identity is rooted in being made in God’s image and not in our thinking processes.
[5:49] It’s not how intelligent we are. It’s not how wonderful we are that make us inherently valuable. It is that we reflect God’s image back to him. We are imitators of God, right? Genesis 1 verse 27 says, God created man in his own image. In the image of God, he created them. Male and female, he created them. So the idea is that we bear God’s image, and because of that, we have inherent value. It is not what we’ve done. It is not what we’ve accomplished. It is not our identity as a mom or a business person or an elder or a pastor. Whatever our identity is, That is not what makes us inherently valuable. What makes us inherently valuable is that God created us, and as such, we reflect his attributes back to him. We are imitators of God. And so, the first lie is that people are, when they are losing their ability to remember or to think and need assistance with bathing, dressing, grooming.
[7:07] All the way through to feeding and incontinence care, that they are less of a person. And that is a absolute lie. They are no less of a person because they are losing their ability to think than what they were before. They have inherent value. And so do you as a caregiver. Each of us has inherent value. So the first lie is that they are losing who they are, but the reality is that memory loss cannot erase who a person is. So I want you to take comfort in that. It doesn’t matter that they remember you or not. It’s that you are there to
The Tragedy Myth
[7:49] support and remember them. The second lie that the world tells us is that dementia is a tragedy. And I know it is very easy to fall into that trap. For many years and many decades, I also struggled with this.
[8:08] You know, the idea that if this is a good and loving God, how can there be these kinds of things like dementia or miscarriages or the death of a loved a natural disaster or other things, right? But the reality is dementia isn’t a tragedy. It is a normal part of living in a fallen world. The truth is this too is a part of God’s sovereign plan for you. And here’s the kicker. Here’s the thing that I always have to remind myself. It’s not just that it’s God’s sovereign plan for me as the caregiver. It is God’s sovereign plan for the person who is experiencing the changes in their thinking. It is not random. Romans 8.28 says, And we know that God causes all of us. All things to work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose. And we need to remember that when you’re looking at the totality of everything that we experience in our life, the good things, the bad things, the day-to-day things, God is using all things together for your good and his glory.
[9:28] And so dementia is not senseless. It is not a tragedy. It is a part of living in a sin-cursed world, and it is very possible to become an absolute wonderful witness to the world how we navigate a difficult circumstance and shows God’s glory to an unbelieving world in how you, as a Christian, are navigating this journey in a different way. Because it is different. I’ll never forget Angela and her family. Her mom passed away in November last year, and I worked with them for about a year, maybe a year and a half, navigating the end stages of her mom’s dementia. And up until about maybe six to eight weeks before she passed away, she was still going to church every single Sunday. Small congregation, the congregation knew she was living with dementia and they supported her and loved her where she was. She wanted to be there. They were able to take her. So she went to church and it was not a tragedy because the church came around them and supported them. And it shows a watching and waiting world how different our journey is.
[10:54] Not without pain, not without crying, not without tears, but God says that he will wipe away every tear in the future. And so it is not senseless.
Surviving vs. Thriving
[11:06] Dementia is not a tragedy. The third lie we’re going to look at today is that the world tells you, you just have to survive this, that you cannot thrive, that you cannot continue to grow.
[11:19] That you just need to pretty much buckle up your, you know, pull on your boots and you just need to white knuckle through it. That is not true. You do not need to just survive your caregiving journey. You can use it as a true part of your sanctification process, but you have to recognize it for what it is. Now, what is sanctification, right? Sanctification is the work of God’s free grace whereby we as believers are renewed in the whole man after God’s image, and we are enabled more and more to die unto sin and live unto righteousness, right? So when you become a Christian, when you become a believer, your purpose in life is to turn away from what was before the sinful things towards God, right? We’re to repent and believe. And when we are being sanctified, we are in essence being made more holy. We are being made more like Christ. And so when the world tells us that all you have to do is survive, we’re not looking at this through God’s lens of how he is making me and you more like Christ, how we are to bear one another’s burdens.
[12:48] How we are to love one another sacrificially, give our lives up for Christ gave up his life for me, for my son, for your son, if you’re a true believer. And we have to remember that every experience that you have in your life, whether it be good or bad, has been designed by God to make you into the person that you’re supposed to be. I don’t know about you, but I’m most assuredly not the same person I was when I was 17 years old. I’m not the same person I was even last year. Every experience we have makes and shapes us into who we’re supposed to be, and that is part of your sanctification. So your dementia caregiving journey is a part of your sanctification. Romans 5 verses 3 through 5 says, and not only this, but we are also to celebrate in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance and perseverance brings proven character and proven character produces hope and hope does not disappoint because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. So caregiving is a part of your sanctification process. It is a journey to make you be more like Christ. And so it is not just something to survive.
[14:15] Now, yes, granted, there are things we can do to make it easier. And that is absolutely what I work with people on, is how do we make it easier so that we’re not just surviving and how do we reframe what we’re thinking and how do we actually take these experiences and use them
Dignity Defined
[14:35] for our good and for God’s glory. Now, the fourth lie is that dignity is something you earn or you lose, right? But dignity is given to us by God and cannot be taken away. We have dignity. A person has dignity, every single person. Psalm 139 verse 13 through 14 says, You created my innermost parts. You wove me in my mother’s womb, and I will give thanks to you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works, and my soul knows it very well. So if God forms us as a person related to whatever we go through, we still carry his design and we still carry his worth.
[15:24] Nobody believes that you don’t have dignity if you are a child who is born with a disability, with Down syndrome, with a congenital deformity. We do not see them as any less of a human. Why do we say that of people who are losing their thinking processes? It really has floored me when I listen to the world and when I hear what the world says that because the person
You’re Not Alone
[15:50] doesn’t have the ability to think that they’re any less of a person. The fifth lie that the world loves to tell us is that you’re alone, that you’re alone in this, that you are abandoned, that you don’t have people who can walk with you. But the truth is you are not abandoned. You’re not abandoned by God. God is there through the journey with you. You are abandoned by his people. The challenge that we have, and we do need to recognize this.
[16:21] Is that dementia does come with some of these inherent challenges like behaviors and things like that that withdraw ourselves from the community. And I recognize and I see it, and that is to me one of the biggest challenges for a believer is because of all of these things we have to navigate and we have to recognize that they are real, right? the person’s brain is actually changing.
[16:47] There’s actual physical changes in their brain that result in what we see in the loss of balance, in incontinence, in all of these things that happen over time. But what happens is because churches are not dementia-friendly, we as Christians isolate ourselves. We stay at home. We do not tell our pastors and our friends that the person that we love has dementia because we’re trying to protect their dignity. We’re trying to give them their autonomy. But what that results in is you being alone. And my request to you today is immediately, if you have not told your church leadership, if you have not spoken to people about the fact that a person that you love has dementia, that is the very first thing that you need to do. Because when we don’t do that, then it’s very easy to slip through the cracks. Then the pastor doesn’t know, the congregation doesn’t know, and it’s very easy to become isolated. I always reflect on this. What happens when a woman has a baby in a congregation, right?
[17:54] Everybody is bringing meals. Everybody knows that this person needs help. We have people volunteering to take care of other children so mom and dad can spend time with the new infant. When they’ve been around for a couple of months people start stepping in and saying you and your honey need to go on a date we don’t do that for families living with dementia. The church is not dementia-friendly. And I’m really hoping that through this podcast and through other things that my company does, that we can change the culture of churches to become more dementia-friendly.
[18:28] And so I want you to remember what Galatians 6 verse 2 says, bear one another’s burdens and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. And so when you, as when we don’t share that the person we love is living with dementia, and guys, I get it. I get it. It’s very easy to do. We do want to respect the person. We maybe have them say things to us like, but I don’t want people to know. What that results in is isolation. And so the lie is you’re all alone in this.
[19:04] And the reality is sometimes we do that to ourself, but the truth is you are not abandoned by God. And we need to do better as a church to support and help families living with dementia and navigating this at home because we are not designed to be in isolation. And a good analogy that I always think of, we’re from South Africa, so we would always braai or barbecue. And when you use charcoal, charcoal fires, you know, once you get your coals right and they’re ready for you to actually grill the meat on, if you want to cool the fire down, you separate all the coals. So I want you to think of a coal fire that’s warm and doing well. If you move one of the coals away from the other and you stand there long enough, the one fire will keep burning, but the coal that’s isolated will die. And so I beg you, if you are a family that is just starting this journey and you haven’t expressed it because you’re trying to protect the person.
[20:11] Don’t not tell the church. Please tell the church. Tell your church leadership. You may have to tell them that the person doesn’t want you telling them, but you need to know and recognize and understand that as this journey unfolds, people will notice. They are going to notice.
[20:28] It does become evident, and it doesn’t take that long for people to actually be able to notice. So the sooner we can start to de-stigmatize this journey, we’ll go a long way
Recap of Lies
[20:40] in making a dementia-friendly church. So these are the first five lies that I see Christian caregivers run into every single day. They’re not just misconceptions. They’re actual lies that rob you of peace and purpose. In this next episode, this is a two-part episode, we’re going to talk about five more lies.
[21:02] But just to recap real quick, the five lies we talked about today is lie number one, they are losing who they are, which implies that our identity is in our thinking processes and not actually being made in the image of God. That is the truth. The second lie is that dementia is a tragedy, and the truth is that it is not random, it is a part of God’s sovereign plan. The third lie is that the world tells you that you just have to survive this journey, and the reality is it is not just survival, it is a part of your sanctification. The lie number four is that we earn our dignity, and so therefore we can lose it. And the reality is dignity is given to us by God, and it cannot be taken away. And the fifth lie that the world tells you is you’re all alone in this. And even if all humans leave you in this process, you are not alone. You are not abandoned.
[22:09] God is with you through this journey. He will uphold you. And something to think about is that throughout this process, it is for you as well as the person that you love. It is for both of you. And for both of you, it is for God’s glory and for your good. And so I hope if you enjoy these podcast episodes that you will share them with someone, share them with one person, a family member, somebody who is just starting down this journey. It is easy for people to listen to. I try to keep them short and practical, and I do want this to grow so that more people can hear the good news of the gospel through dementia and dementia caregiving. So as I try to remember to end all of my episodes, may the Lord bless you and keep you. And I will be back in the next part two episode, which will be next Friday. And yet again, if you haven’t signed up for the free workshop, the link is thinkdifferentdementia.com forward slash WSL. And I hope to see you there.
