How to Have a Good 2025 Even When Dementia Caregiving
As we welcome 2025, many of us are reflecting on how we can make the year ahead better. For dementia caregivers, the question takes on a deeper meaning: how can you manage caregiving challenges while finding peace, joy, and purpose in the journey?
In this special New Year’s episode, we explore practical strategies, grounded in faith, to help caregivers approach the year with intention and hope.
Why Resolutions Fail—And How to Succeed
Statistics show that 80–92% of New Year’s resolutions fail. Why? Common reasons include:
1. Setting unrealistic or vague goals
2. Lacking motivation or accountability
3. Facing unsupportive surroundings
4. Procrastinating or expecting quick results
For caregivers, the same pitfalls apply. Without a clear plan or support system, stress and overwhelm can dominate the year. However, with intentional steps and a focus on your well-being, it’s possible to have a good year—even as a dementia caregiver.
Read More: Grieving After Dementia Caregiving: How To Heal In Supportive Community
The 3 Options for Addressing Caregiving Challenges
Caregiving often brings stress and overwhelm. To address these challenges, caregivers essentially have three choices:
1. Live With It
If you choose to live with your situation as it is, it’s important to accept it without complaints or discontent. Grumbling leads to greater dissatisfaction and stress, but gratitude can transform your experience.
2. Change It
Identify areas causing stress—whether it’s lack of support, disorganization, or emotional overwhelm—and take actionable steps to improve them. For example:
- Join a curated support group for Christian caregivers.
- Seek professional help through biblical counseling or coaching.
- Use tools like caregiver stress assessments to pinpoint and address specific issues.
3. End It
Sometimes, ending certain stressors is necessary. This could mean setting firm boundaries with unhelpful family members, hiring professional caregivers, or even considering alternative care options like assisted living.
Faith as the Foundation of a Better Year
For Christian caregivers, faith provides the foundation for approaching the year with hope and resilience. When the caregiving journey feels overwhelming, reflecting on God’s sovereignty and purpose can bring peace.
As the episode reminds us, even in difficulty, dementia caregiving can be used for our sanctification and God’s glory.
Key Reminder:
Caregiving doesn’t just shape the life of the person you care for—it transforms your own heart and faith. By focusing on gratitude and seeking God’s guidance, you can experience peace in the middle of challenges.
How Do You Want Your Journey to End?
A poignant question from this episode challenges caregivers to reflect on their journey: How do you want your caregiving journey to end?
This question encourages intentional decision-making and empowers caregivers to recognize that they have choices in how they approach their circumstances.
Whether it’s changing your mindset, seeking support, or taking practical steps, you have the power to shape your experience.
Ever Wonder How To Know What Is Causing Your Caregiver Stress?
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Transcript
Transcript
[0:00] Hey, Christian Care Champion, welcome to Dementia Caregiver Support for Christians, the podcast where we specialize in dementia caregiver support for Bible-believing
Welcome to Dementia Caregiver Support
[0:12] Christians and make caregiving easier today while focusing on the kingdom. If you are a Christian spouse, the adult child, or a family member of a person living with dementia and want to find practical caregiving solutions and Christian caregiver support, this podcast is for you. Here, we make dementia caregiving easier by cutting out the stress and overwhelm that is so common to caregiving. It is New Year’s Eve, and I cannot believe that 2024 is in essence already in the can. For any of you guys listening who might have already started 2025.
[1:00] I pray the Lord’s blessings on your 2025. For people here in the United States who are getting through the day, have a happy, happy new year or New Year’s Eve. And I’m excited to have this last episode of 2024.
[1:18] So today we’re going to talk about how to have a good 2025 even when dementia caregiving. And I know that sounds kind of counterintuitive, but we can. We can have a good 2025 even when we are dementia caregiving. So what typically comes with New Year’s Eve, with the new year? What do most people end up doing? Doing at the beginning of the year. Most people make New Year’s resolutions and these New Year’s resolutions can take the form of anything that we think that we need to work on. Things like, I need to lose weight or I need to become more healthy or I need to get organized or I need to save more money or I need to get out of debt. If you have been a gym member, you know that if you’re consistently there week in, week out, day in, day out. January is when you dread going to the gym because everybody who made their New Year’s resolutions are exercising for the first four to six weeks of the year. And then as the year goes on, they taper off and the gym turns back into its normal routine. So we are going to start by talking about what are the six common or some common
New Year’s Resolutions and Caregiving
[2:40] reasons that people break their New Year’s resolutions.
[2:45] One of them is that they set unrealistic goals. The goals are too ambitious, or the other side of it, the goals are too vague, or people just haven’t planned. They lack planning. They lack the motivation to actually complete it. In other words, there’s not really a reason that they’re doing it. They may think that they have a reason, but they don’t really believe that they need to change. They lack the motivation. They may not have accountability or they’re procrastinating. They may lack discipline.
[3:21] Their surroundings may not be supportive. So for example, somebody who is trying to lose weight, who lives in a household where their spouse is not trying to lose weight and does the grocery shopping and brings home all of the stuff that they cannot eat, right? So your supportings can be contributing to it not being successful, or a person may make too many resolutions, or The person might lack focus in what they actually need to accomplish, or they’re looking for a quick fix. And because it actually takes time to change things, the lack of a quick result results in them actually failing. According to the statistic that I read this morning, the failure rate for people to actually break their New Year’s resolutions are about 80 to 92% actually stop within the first few weeks or months of having a resolution.
[4:23] So resolutions are not good or bad inherently. They’re not inherently good or bad. They are a decision to change a habit. That’s what they actually are. And they’re a decision to change something that we are doing in a specific way that we may not necessarily think about or we just go through the motions with. And so a resolution is not going to help us achieve anything unless we do things a little bit differently. So how do New Year’s resolutions and having a good 2025, even though we’re caregiving, what do they actually have to do with one another?
Overcoming Stress and Overwhelm
[5:06] So I want you to think about it this way. One of the biggest things that most people tell me that when they are family dementia caregiver, when they’re helping a family member in their dementia caregiving journey, Most people tell me these two things. They are stressed and overwhelmed.
[5:28] How many of you guys can relate to that? I know I certainly relate to it at various times in my caregiving journey. I have felt stressed and overwhelmed. To be fair, I have done things and put systems and structures in place so that I don’t feel overwhelmed anymore. I have taken effort and time to learn about my unique strengths in order for me to be able to leverage my strengths as a caregiver. Why do things the hard way when I can do things in an easier way? But when we want to solve a problem or an issue, we need to recognize that there are really only three things that we need to do. There are only three ways to solve a problem or an issue. So what is the problem or issue related to dementia and dementia caregiving? The problem or issue is feeling stressed and overwhelmed. So what are the three things that we can do? We can live with it. We can end it. Or we can change it. Those are essentially the only three things that you can do about solving any problem or issue. You learn to live with it, you end it, or you change it. So it doesn’t matter what the problem is. If you want to lose weight, you have three choices. You live with it because you don’t want to do anything. You end it by taking that task off of your plate.
[6:57] You know, Cooking might be the problem, then you end cooking and find an alternative way, like a meal prep service or whatever, or you change it. You change something.
Choices in Caregiving
[7:07] You have to decide which it’s going to be. So we know, we all know, if you have been a caregiver for a period of time, you know that caregiving can be hard, that caregiving has challenges.
[7:21] And caregiving can cause stress and overwhelm. And we know that the person with dementia has dementia and that dementia comes with its own set of opportunities and challenges. Those are two things that are true in our caregiving journey. So we know that we cannot necessarily change the progression of dementia because.
[7:46] Although that can be a whole separate conversation another day about what we can do to mitigate the changes of dementia. But for argument’s sake, unless a person is willing to put in a lot of work, it is inevitable going to result in the progression of the person’s dementia. So if you can no longer live with the stress of being a caregiver, because that’s the problem that we’re solving today, then you only have two options left. If you are at the end of your rope and you cannot, you feel that you cannot continue to live under the stress and the overwhelm of being a caregiver, you only have two choices left. You need to change it or end it, right? So change it. You need to be able to change something in your caregiving. You need to be able to change the direction of what you’re doing or where you’re going. So whatever that situation is that is causing you the stress or overwhelm, something needs to change. Because by definition, most of us have heard this statement that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
[9:11] So if you are stressed and overwhelmed as a caregiver and you’re doing nothing actively to change that situation, and yes, it’s not a passive thing, it is an active thing, if you’re not doing something to change your stress and overwhelmed situation, then you cannot expect.
[9:37] A different result. I’m just going to be brutal, right? So what kind of things can you change? Well, you can hop on my website. I have a free stress assessment that you can take that will actually show you where your caregiver stresses are coming from and get you into a spot where you can look at that and say, what do I need to change in that particular part of my caregiving journey? Is it the financial resources?
[10:10] Is it the fact that I feel like I have no life? What are the stressors? And then you need to change something about that. Another solution that you can make is finding more dementia caregiver support. There are free Facebook groups. Even though you need to be careful, You need to curate the Facebook group that you join. Not all Facebook groups are created equal. One of my biggest platforms is talking about we need to think differently about dementia because when you go into these large Facebook groups that are not well curated, all you see are the what I call verbal vomit and people complaining and not actually there for a solution. They just want to vent. So be careful and cautious about a Facebook group. I do have a free Facebook group. It’s called Dementia Caregiver Support for Christians. And I work very hard on cultivating and curating a culture of support, but not allowing people to vent their frustration and their anger at a situation. I don’t believe Facebook is the place that we should be doing that. Another opportunity that you have to change things is signing up for a free consultation.
[11:31] Signing up for a paid consultation, actually putting skin in the game, and talking to a dementia care specialist, somebody like me. There are other people out there that do this. I come at it from a biblical worldview using evidence-based strategies for caregiving. But if I’m not your cup of tea, I want you to get the support that you need. So find and pay for a consultation to help you change something because doing the same thing over and over again is not going to get you a different result. You can ask your doctor for some skilled physical therapy and occupational therapy and speech therapy, maybe some home health nursing, maybe outpatient therapy to get you some support so that it can help you decrease your overwhelm. You can consider biblical counseling, not just plain prayer. Counseling, but actual biblical counseling, looking at dementia caregiving through a biblical lens.
[12:36] Working through your emotions and your overwhelm and your stress through a biblical lens and not just having counseling. Counseling is good. I want you to have counseling. If you don’t want to do biblical
Changing Your Perspective
[12:50] counseling, please go have counseling, but find a way to change something that you do. You can change, but you individually as a human, as a person, need to own the situation that we are living in. I gained 30 pounds this past year and I own the fact that I caused my own weight gain because I wasn’t paying attention. I feel unhealthy. And so I am committed and resolved to doing something different and taking back control of my own health. But it means that I have to do something different. The Lord gives us means.
[13:35] These are some of the means that you can do to change your stress and overwhelm or end it. That’s the other option. If you cannot live with the stress and overwhelm, you change it or you end it, right? So I know what you’re thinking right now. You’re like, Lizette, I can’t end it. My person is living with dementia. They’re still alive. I cannot change it, right? I cannot end it. It’s not going to end until it’s going to end when they pass away. But you can end it. This goes back to another episode that I did a while back that caregiving is a choice. So if you cannot change the situation, if you cannot change your response.
[14:19] Then you need to end the stressor. You need to consider then your alternative options. What does that look like? Some of these options are not options that are necessarily what we want to do. But if 30% of caregivers die before the person they’re taking care of, sometimes we need to end that particular situation. If it’s a sibling that’s driving you nuts because they don’t see what’s going on, you may have to put up significant boundaries and not be around that sibling anymore. Or if you may need to consider placement, you may need to find other caregivers, whether they be paid or other family members to help you. You have to end that particular.
[15:09] Situation if you cannot change it. If it is untenable, you have to change it. I have told people before that if they were abused, physically, sexually abused, even emotionally abused by the person who they are caring for, then they’re not required to be the physical hands-on caregiver. I’m not saying throw the person under the bus. I’m saying we have to find alternative people who can care for that person who cannot care for themselves, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it is that person who was sexually abused or who was physically abused or emotionally abused by that particular human who now is living with dementia. So in that situation, you find a decision maker who can take over those decisions and have impartiality over making the decisions and not such emotional or not as emotionally invested and you step away because that is also a solution.
[16:14] And living with it should be the last choice. It should be the very, very last option. You should first try to change it or you need to end. But if you absolutely, absolutely, if that is the last option, but if you choose to live with it without changing anything, or without ending something, you need to agree to live with it and not complain. And I know that sounds brutal on this New Year’s Eve, but if you choose, because it’s then a choice to live with whatever stressors and situation that you’re in without changing it or ending it, if you actively choose, because by not taking one of these other two actions.
[17:01] By logical reasoning, you are now choosing, actively choosing to live with it, then you have to agree that you’re going to live with it and you need to stop complaining about the situation you’re in. Because, and there is a because, because we serve a God that wants us to be grateful. We serve a God that gives us everything that we need. We serve a God who is using this for our sanctification and his glory. We serve a God who this is his kind providence, kind providence in your life. So if you choose to live with it because there’s, for whatever the reason might be, you cannot complain about your situation because that is discontentment and discontentment will eat up your life. When you change the way you think about your circumstances.
[17:57] Like if you know and recognize that this really is the only and the best solution,
The Power of Gratitude
[18:05] then don’t complain about it. do not be discontent about it. Change your way of thinking because I guarantee you when we are discontent and we complain, we are inadvertently creating the thing that we don’t want. We become more discontent. We become more dissatisfied. We become more stressed. We become more overwhelmed. You know, I frequently talk about it that it’s kind of like a drain cycling down. So if your thoughts are constantly focusing on going down, down, down, then you will get that as a result.
[18:47] And we are commanded by God, in essence, to think his thoughts after him. So if you think to yourself, dementia is for my good and his glory. Caregiving is for my good and his glory my circumstances are here for my sanctification for my growth in christ for my growth as a person then it can radically change the outcome of your experience and i know it’s hard None of us are infallible. We are fallen creatures, and we step into it every now and then.
[19:24] I have a good friend, Pam, whose mom just recently passed away, and she called me the other day, and she’s like, I need you to talk me off the cliff. And then I go into my whole thing about what do we need to change? And oftentimes, it is most of the times something that we are thinking. So here on this New Year’s Eve, I invite you to think differently about your dementia journey.
[19:53] Think about your thinking. I just have lost a couple of people in my community. I have a very small and extremely intimate and high-touch group support program where we do coaching and education in that program. And a couple of people have recently lost the people that they were helping and supporting. And what was really fascinating is both of them said the exact same thing to me and I didn’t recognize that. And I’m so grateful for their feedback because I say things all the time that are so inherent to me and what I do that I don’t always realize that it is that radically different in the world of dementia caregiving. But what both of them said to me was one of the very first things I said to them was, how do you want your journey to end? How do you want your journey to end? And Pam actually said to me, she said, I didn’t know I had a choice.
[20:57] And I say to you today, dear listener, New Year’s Eve, I say to you,
Realistic Resolutions for 2025
[21:03] you have a choice. You have a choice. And if you’re going to make New Year’s resolutions, they need to be realistic, which means they have to have a goal. They have to be planned. You need to really believe this is something you need to do.
[21:18] You need to have accountability, which is why the group works so well. It gives you the ability to stop procrastinating. It puts you in a supportive surrounding where we’re constantly working on your thinking processes and what you believe about this journey. We take one issue at a time and we’re constantly, as issues come up, solving a problem, solving a problem, solving a problem. It will give you focus and because the very first thing we do when people come into the community as we stabilize the situation, all of a sudden your stress and overwhelm will decrease. So if you’re interested in finding out more about this group support program, it’s a group coaching program, I invite you to schedule a strategy call with me on my website, thinkdifferentdementia.com forward slash call, and we can talk about what it is and how it works. And I pray the Lord’s blessing on you this 2025. We can have a good year, even when we’re dementia caregiving. I guarantee you it is possible, but it does take some effort.
[22:37] It definitely takes time and it likely to do well will require an investment of money for you to get the level of support that you actually need.
[22:50] So Happy New Year. May the Lord bless you and keep you. And I will see you in 2025.
