How To Decrease Dementia Overwhelm: The Caregiver Reflection Question
Imagine this: it’s three years from now, and you’re looking back at this challenging season of caregiving. Would you feel happy with the way things turned out?
As caregivers, it’s easy to get lost in the daily demands of caring for a loved one with dementia. Stress and overwhelm become constant companions. But what if there’s a way to shift your perspective, find peace, and even experience personal growth through the process?
That’s exactly what was discussed in this insightful episode, aimed at Christian caregivers of loved ones with dementia.
Lizette sheds light on practical ways to approach caregiving, focusing not just on managing day-to-day tasks but also on reflecting on how this journey shapes your future.
Choosing Your Path as a Caregiver
There are two ways to navigate the caregiving journey. The first leads to burnout, where stress and anxiety dominate your life.
The second path encourages personal growth, sanctification, and the ability to see your role through a spiritual lens.
By being proactive instead of reactive, caregivers can experience a profound shift. Instead of feeling trapped in the present, you begin to see caregiving as an opportunity for spiritual and personal development.
This doesn’t mean the journey will be easy, but it opens the door to finding peace, even amid challenges.
Shifting Your Focus from the Present to the Future
One of the most profound takeaways from the episode was the concept of future-focused caregiving.
The idea is simple: look ahead to where you want to be, not just in caregiving, but in your life as a whole. What will bring you peace when you reflect back on this season?
Asking yourself the “caregiver reflection question” takes you out of the “here and now” mindset and encourages you to focus on the bigger picture.
This practice allows you to see how caregiving fits into the greater story of your life, giving you a sense of control and purpose.
Challenges and Opportunities
Being at peace with your caregiving role doesn’t mean avoiding challenges. In fact, it’s crucial to acknowledge them.
Whether it’s the need to improve self-care, make difficult decisions about your loved one’s living arrangements, or explore new support systems, facing these head-on will lead to growth.
Equally important is recognizing the opportunities for personal and spiritual development. This episode invites caregivers to draw on their unique strengths, gifts, and faith to navigate the road ahead.
When we view caregiving through a lens of opportunity, it transforms the experience into something more meaningful.
Taking the First Step
Caregiving is tough, but with a shift in mindset, it’s possible to move from overwhelm to peace. Spend a few moments reflecting on your own caregiver journey.
What challenges need to be addressed? What strengths can you lean on? Most importantly, how can you look back on this season feeling at peace with your progress?
By taking proactive steps now, you’re not just helping your loved one—you’re investing in your own growth and well-being for the future.
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Read More:
Talking About Caregiver Burnout With Michelle Gordon
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Email me at: lizette@dignicarebydesign.com
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Transcript
Understanding Caregiver Overwhelm
[0:00] One thing I know most dementia caregivers tell me all the time is that they feel overwhelmed, they feel like they are going to burn out, and they feel like they are stressed. And so something I have really been thinking through lately over the last several months is how to help you as a caregiver think differently about your own unique dementia caregiving journey. So check out this episode, How to Decrease Dementia Overwhelm, The Caregiver Reflection Question. Hey, Christian caregiver, welcome back to the podcast where I I teach Bible-believing Christians how to find help as well as have hope in their dementia caregiving journey, making it easier for you so you don’t feel so overwhelmed, stressed, and ready to burn out. I am excited about today’s episode because we are going to look at caregiving from a different perspective. Many, many years ago, when I started business, I called my business Think Different Dementia. And mostly because I had joined a lot of large Facebook groups where I noticed that a lot of the people in those Facebook groups were stressed, overwhelmed.
[1:29] Ready to burn out, anxious, and quite frankly, freaked out. Because of their caregiving journey. But one of the things that I noticed was oftentimes people’s thought processes related to dementia in particular and caregiving by implication were extremely toxic. They were extremely negative. They were extremely focused on the here and now. And I I wanted to bring a different voice into the caregiving space related to dementia caregiving and specifically the process of dementia itself because death is death and it is a separation from the people that we love and it is not supposed to be this way. If you’re a believer, you know that death is a part of the curse because of Adam’s first fall. And so I wanted to bring a different voice to the marketplace.
[2:30] A different voice to the care economy related to how people actually think about their caregiving journey. And in essence, there are only two ways that we can respond when we become a dementia caregiver. giver. The first way is we can choose to be proactive, or the second way is we can choose to just be reactive to God’s providence in our life. And my experience in doing this over the last 31 years is the families, the people, the caregivers who are proactive in their caregiving journey have a significantly different experience to dementia and dementia caregiving than people who are in a constant responsive.
[3:19] You know, fight or flight. Response to their caregiving journey. So there are two paths. I want you to picture two paths today related to how you can be or navigate a caregiving journey. The first path is the road to burnout or overwhelm or stress. The second path is the road to growth, to sanctification, to looking towards the future. They’re two entirely different paths. Now, I know that even if we are on a path to burnout, I recognize that that path is also there for your sanctification. It’s not just growth per se that leads to sanctification. Oftentimes, the Lord gives us trials that really allow us to grow in our spiritual relationship with him in growing as a person, as a wife, as a daughter, whatever your particular role may or may not be. But there really are, in essence, only two paths through caregiving. The one leads to burnout and the other one leads to growth.
[4:33] Are you a Christian dementia caregiver struggling to cope? Does dementia caregiving really need to be this hard? I invite you to join our free monthly Ask the Dementia Coach meetup. Get personalized guidance and support from me, a pastor’s wife, occupational therapist, and Christian dementia coach. By blending evidence-based strategies with Christian principles, you can radically improve your caregiving experience. Register now for our next session of Ask the Dementia Coach. We limit registrations, so don’t miss out. Sign up today.
The Caregiver Reflection Question
[5:14] So I have been really thinking about caregiving a lot over the last several months, ever since I started this podcast. And one of the things that I have started to pay attention to is thinking about my own thinking, thinking about my own thinking about whatever it is. And I know that sounds kind of odd or strange, but one of the things that we as people can control is our own thoughts. We like to believe that we cannot control our own thoughts, but we really can and we should control our own thoughts.
[5:51] God’s word speaks frequently of thinking God’s thoughts after him. And God is a thinking God. God is a creating God. God is a active God. And so we are created to think and think for ourselves and our actions follow our thoughts. So when we are in a space where we are only thinking negative things, whether it be of someone else, whether it be of, you know, whatever the situation is, oftentimes our actions follow our thoughts. And so I’ve developed this question that I propose to you today as something I want you to think about. I want you to write this question down. I’m calling it the caregiver reflection question because I want us to start reflecting about being a caregiver earlier on in our journey instead of trying to recover after our caregiving journey. So the caregiver reflection question, I want you to imagine today that we are having this particular conversation three years from now or a year from now, and you’re reflecting back on this particular season of your life. What needs to have happened for you to feel happy and at.
[7:17] Peace with your progress. Not feel happy, but feel happy and at peace with your progress, both in your personal and professional, if you’re still working, life, as well as in your caregiving role. So I know that’s a lot to unpack, but what this does is give you a glimpse into the future. When I asked myself this particular question, imagine my husband and I are having this conversation three years from now. And I’m reflecting back on this particular season of my life. What needs to have happened for me to feel happy and at peace with my progress.
[7:59] Both personally and professionally, as well as in my caregiving role. And the moment I did that, I noticed something very important happened to me. It took me out of the here and now. Because even Even though I’m extremely proactive in my caregiving journey, I have been recognizing that this is coming in our lives for many years. We’ve made a lot of decisions throughout the last four years or so to be able to be in a position to help my parents, for me to grow my business, for me and my husband to grow our relationship, somewhere in the back of my mind, I, despite understanding and knowing that this is God’s providence in my life, somewhere have had this niggling little thought in the back of my head still that I’m trapped, that I’m wrapped by my caregiving role, that I’m trapped wrapped in this season of life that, oh, woe is me, my life is on hold and everything revolves around my caregiving journey. And when I did this caregiver reflection question.
[9:14] Myself, I recognized that I have exactly still the same thoughts, the same emotions, the same feelings of overwhelm and stress and worry that I know many of you listening today still have. But when I started to really imagine the future, when I started to really think about three years Years from now, a year from now, two years from now, whether or not my parents are still with us, whether or not I’m still in a caregiving role, what do I want to have my life look like and what would make me happy with the progress I’ve made? Not happy, but happy and at peace with the progress that I’ve made. And that’s related to my entire life. That is not just related to my caregiving journey. And the moment I did that, it took me to the future.
[10:16] The future, God gives us a glorious glimpse throughout the Bible. The entire Bible is future focused. The entire Bible is focused on the consummation of our relationship with Christ when we enter into glory with him, either in the new heavens and the new earth, or if Christ returns before we should pass away, or when we go to glory, right? We are future-focused as a Christian. We’re focused on God’s glory, the new heavens, and the new earth while we’re living in the present, and we have a connection with the past. And so when I took myself out of the here and now, the day-to-day.
[11:02] And I started to think about the future, it opened my eyes to the possibilities that I have to continue to grow as a person, both in grace and in knowledge of God and in knowledge of myself and of my parents and being a servant leader to other people. It just opened possibility. And so I wanted to invite you today,
Envisioning Your Future
[11:31] Christian caregiver, to really reflect on your own caregiver reflection question. So yet again, here is the question. Imagine we’re having this conversation a year or three from now, and you’re reflecting back on this particular season of your life. Remember, this is a season. What needs to have happened for you to feel happy and at peace with your progress?
[11:58] Both in your personal and professional life, if you’re still working, as well as in your caregiving role. So we’re not isolated. I want you to really sit with this question, write it down, think about it for a little bit, because this is the proactive journey. This is the way you, you as a caregiver are able to truly internalize and look at your whole situation from a proactive perspective and continue to grow. This is the road to growth, to grow through your caregiving journey. But the second part of this question is just as important for you as a caregiver. The second part of this question is, in order for us, for me… Or for you to reach that point of being happy and at peace with your progress. So remember, it’s not being happy. It’s not the feeling of just happiness.
[13:00] It’s being happy and at peace with your progress, with your growth, with your sanctification.
[13:06] What challenges do you need to overcome? What new opportunities do you need to explore? And how can you draw on your innate strengths that you already have? We are gifted. God gifts us each with unique abilities, unique strengths. But in order for us to reach that point of being happy and at peace with your progress, you need to do three things. You need to look at what challenges you need to overcome, what new opportunities you need to explore, and how can you draw on your innate God-given strengths that you already have. And as you are sitting and reflecting on those three points in this specific question, this reflection question, think about the challenges that you need to overcome. Personally, are you allowing your caregiving journey to decimate your own health, your own well-being? Or are you not taking care of your spiritual journey? What challenges do you need to overcome? Do you need to learn more about practical tips and tricks to be an effective caregiver? What challenges do you need to overcome?
[14:22] Do you need to move your parent in with you or move them to a facility or do you need to move closer to your children so that you can have the support that you need? What challenges do you need to overcome?
[14:36] What new opportunities do you need to explore? Do you need to look for a particular educational program? Do you need to find another type of a support group? Do you need to possibly explore changing jobs so that you have more ability to be flexible? What opportunities do you as a caregiver need to explore so that you grow both personally, professionally, as well as in your caregiving role? And then the last part of it is how can you draw on your own innate God-given strengths that you already have? We all have strengths. We all know what our strengths are. Some people have certain specific strengths that other people don’t have. But how can you draw on your own unique God-given strengths and abilities and talents in order to continue to grow on this road of caregiving, on this proactive path.
Overcoming Challenges and Seizing Opportunities
[15:36] Should you choose to take it? So today’s episode is really a reflective episode, how you can decrease your overwhelm by sitting down and taking 15 minutes, pray over this, talk to the Lord, ask him to send his spirit to show you where you need to change, what you need to do in order to become all you can be through this caregiving journey. So to end this episode, I’m just going to read the question to you again. I want you to truly take this journal over it, pray over it, ask yourself the question, sit down if you’re a spouse taking care of another spouse, perhaps sit down with your children, ask yourselves this particular question. If you are a daughter taking care of a father or a mother, sit down and ask yourself this question. And the question is the caregiver reflection question.
[16:37] Imagine we are having this conversation a year or two from now, and you’re reflecting back on this particular season of your life. What needs to have happened for you to feel happy and at peace with your progress, both in your personal and professional life? If you’re still working as well as in your caregiving role and to reach that point of being happy and at peace with your progress, not being happy, but being happy and at peace with your progress, what challenges do you need to overcome? What challenges? New opportunities do you need
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[17:14] to explore and how can you draw on the strengths that you already have?
[17:21] And if you’re struggling with this particular question, if you’re struggling on your particular journey, I invite you to spend a little bit of time with me in our monthly Ask Ask the Dementia Coach Meetup. This is an opportunity once a month that I give you as my community to meet with me as well as other Christian dementia caregivers where we can talk through your caregiving journey, where we can do some coaching. I’d be happy to sit with you and talk about this caregiver reflection question where I I want you to start to be future-focused. The way you sign up for one of these meetups is by clicking the link in the show notes or by messaging me the word ASK, A-S-K, to either Facebook, Messenger, or Instagram.
[18:16] So just the word ASK, A-S-K, and it’ll send you a link to register to be a part of the Dementia, Ask the Dementia Coach monthly meetup. So please take me up on these opportunities for you to actually talk, to find real caregiver support and help. And even if we just have a conversation, I’m there to support you. I really am grateful for you being here. I thank you for listening. If I trust that you have found value from these episodes and I ask you to share them with someone you think who could benefit from learning more on how we can help one another through our dementia caregiving journey, particularly by working on our own thought processes and learning over time to think God’s thoughts after him through this particular season in our life. As I end all of my episodes, may the Lord bless you and keep you, and I hope to see you here in the next episode.
