Coping with Dementia: A Christian Perspective
Caregiving is a journey of constant learning, adapting, and advocating.
In this special live coaching session, we hear from Vicki, a caregiver for her husband, Bob, who faces Parkinson’s and cognitive challenges.
Her story reflects the resilience and resourcefulness required to navigate the complexities of caregiving while leaning on faith and community support.
Advocating for a Loved One
One of the key themes of this episode is the importance of advocacy in caregiving. Vicki shares her experience of standing up for her husband’s needs during a hospital stay.
From spotting a critical issue with low blood sugar to ensuring proper follow-up care, Vicki reminds us that caregivers are often the most reliable voices for their loved ones.
Advocacy also extended to handling logistical issues, such as ensuring Bob’s medications were delivered and addressing errors in hospital procedures. These moments highlight the necessity of speaking up, asking questions, and ensuring care is patient-focused.
Embracing New Responsibilities
As Bob’s condition has progressed, Vicki has taken on roles she never imagined, including learning how to manage medical equipment like Foley catheters and adjusting their home setup to accommodate his needs.
From ordering a hospital bed to considering sit-to-stand lifts, Vicki’s adaptability is a testament to the hands-on nature of caregiving.
Her story demonstrates the importance of seeking guidance from professionals like physical therapists and durable medical equipment providers to make informed decisions about what tools will work best in their unique home environment.
The Value of Support and Community
Caregiving can feel isolating, but Vicki’s experience underscores the power of support networks.
She leaned on home health services, professional caregivers, and the guidance of her coaching community to navigate the challenges of Bob’s care.
For those new to caregiving, Vicki’s advice is clear: seek support early and stay engaged.
Being part of a caregiving community provides a space to ask questions, share experiences, and receive encouragement.
Faith as a Foundation
Throughout her journey, Vicki has relied on her faith to provide strength and perspective.
Trusting in God’s guidance has helped her remain calm during emergencies and hopeful for the future. Her story reminds us that caregiving, while challenging, is also a sanctifying journey that deepens our relationship with the Lord.
A Call to Action
Are you a caregiver feeling overwhelmed or uncertain?
Vicki’s story is a reminder that you don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Whether it’s advocating for your loved one, embracing new caregiving roles, or seeking community support, there are resources and people ready to help you.
Read more:
Upstate Nonprofits Receive Funding Boost to Expand Dementia Services.
Ever Wonder How To Know What Is Causing Your Caregiver Stress?
Take Our FREE Caregiver Stress Assessment Today!
https://dignicarebydesign.com/quiz
Ever Wonder How To Know What Is Causing Your Caregiver Stress? Take Our FREE Caregiver Stress Assessment Today!
https://www.dementiacaregivingmadeeasy.com/dca
Transcript
[0:00] Hey Christian caregiver, welcome back to Dementia Caregiver Support for Christians, the podcast where we teach Bible-believing Christians how to make dementia care easier today, while also helping you focus on tomorrow. Today you get a special glimpse into a live coaching session with a client of mine. Every now and then, I offer these one-on-one sessions to my community members in order for me to catch up and have my finger on the pulse of how they are coping with their dementia caregiving journey. So let’s listen to a live coaching episode on this Coaching Clinic Friday. I’m going to have Vicki start because I know there’s been a lot going on, sweet lady, and you want to come on a Friday. I know. Well, I’m home because I don’t have confidence to leave Bob alone just yet. So for you who don’t know me, I’m Vicki and I’m caring for my husband, who is 85 and has Parkinson’s and cognitive impairment.
[1:08] And Friday, he went to the emergency room. Turns out that he had an undetected UTI and it went septic. So it caused a lot of strain on his heart. So to what extent that there was damage to the heart, we’re not going to know because he has a history of cardiac problems.
[1:23] And with his condition, he can’t withstand going through any more extensive
Vicki’s Caregiving Update
[1:27] procedures. So we’re letting nature tickets close there. But he came home the day before yesterday, I guess. And so he’s not All his vitals are good, but he’s in a weakened condition. So I had to hire in some help, which is new for me. I’ve always hired when I hire help so that I can go out. So it’s a little strange having someone here doing my stuff, but I’m actually enjoying it. I can see how you get used to it if you have the money to support yourself that way. We don’t have any long-term insurance, so it’s all out of pocket. So he is a weak, Lynette, as we talked about. Yesterday, I was able to get, I didn’t have help yesterday. I was able to get him out of bed on his own. He was able to sit up, took a while, and to stand up for a second. And then I was able to position his hips to his chair, and he got in. He couldn’t do that in the evening, but he did that in the morning. And this morning, it was better. He was a little bit more stronger and able to do a little bit more. So hopefully, that will be the continuum. We’ll see how it goes tonight. I have my home health in place. The nurse came out yesterday, and she’s going to try to reconnect me with the same care team that I had before, which means that the physical therapists will
Equipment Decisions and Considerations
[2:38] already know him where he left him off and we’ll be working to bring him back to that is my hope. I went ahead and ordered the hospital bed, the fully electric hospital bed.
[2:48] So part of what I’m having my caregiver do is empty the furniture that needs to be moved and I’ll have someone come and help me just rearrange. It’s not too much because I’d already made some space, but I got to do some more. And I declined the Hoya lift. And I found out that our home health provider, our durable equipment inviter that ties your contracts with, doesn’t rent a sit and stand. So, but right now, Amazon has them at a really good price because it’s Black Friday. And it’s not that much. It’s like, I don’t know, under $400.
[3:19] And so maybe after this meeting or whenever you can take a look and see which one you think. I had an opportunity to see a Sarastetti Have you heard of the Sarah Steady? That’s what they use in the hospital. So I know the sit and stand is very similar to that, just not as a heavy duty piece of equipment, but still probably going to be useful to us. So I’m thinking about maybe just getting it, you know, and keeping it and adding it to my handicap accessories that I have as a showroom in my garage till I need it. So the Sarah Steady’s are great. They’re more expensive, the brand Sarah Steady. Um, the, for everybody who doesn’t know what they look like, I will show you. So these are sit to stand lifts. Okay. So, um, pretty much what happens over here is you put the person’s foot on the pedal. Let’s open up that one. You put their feet on the pedal over there and their knees up against here.
[4:15] These flaps are out of the way and they pull up on the bar. And when they stand up, you slide these flaps under their bottom. But they end up kind of in a crouched position like this. Holding on to the bar. It’s a little more of a crouched position, but it takes a lot of strain off of the person who’s having to do the transfer. So part of Bob’s particular challenge is that he doesn’t, he himself doesn’t really stand up all that straight anymore, but he’s also pulled to stand up. So it may be a good solution for Vicky. The sit-to-stand lifts that are typically rented are not these types of lifts. They’re a different type of a lift. And I can show you the difference here in a second because they’re hydraulic. They, they are. Oh, that’s where you put the sling under them. Yes. It’s not as it’s the sling is like there. Oh, this is hydraulic. The person, well, this is semi-hydraulic, right? Cause it’s still got a couple of things that, that, but these are, these are more what would be considered what, in my opinion here in South Carolina, when we’ve been able to rent them, there are these types of hydraulics that to stand lists.
[5:27] So I do think that, so what I would do, Vicki, since you have the PT coming in and since Black Friday is still a week away, and so the sales will probably be good through another week, I would wait and I would really try to talk to the PT and show him and tell him what we’ve discussed and really, really make sure that from a practical specifically in your home, because a few things that you need to pay attention to is, is there space around the chair that you’re going to underneath the chair if it’s got to go under a couch or whatever? What does all of the lay of the land look? And also, anytime you have a lift and you have a human, even though he doesn’t weigh that much on the lift, it doesn’t. It makes it heavier. So if there’s heavy carpet, we want to make sure, you know, we set you up for success and not just a piece of equipment that’s going to be a laundry catcher that you now have paid for yourself. So that’s kind of where I would start, but I would, I think it, I still think it’s a good solution for you, especially if the physical therapist doesn’t feel like it’s going to be quick for him to regain where he had been. Yeah, I’ll probably connect with a physical therapist today, am hoping, but it might not be. I don’t know if they work weekends. But anyway, yeah, that’s kind of my thinking too. I wanted to talk to him first before I make any action.
[6:47] And I can probably talk to Kaiser to see if they have a contract with another in-home care durable medical equipment provider that would have that available. So I can judge also what the price is.
Navigating Home Health Care
[7:02] The woman at Apria couldn’t tell me because they don’t rent it. So she couldn’t tell me that. The electric bed is like $54 more a month. So I am going to be paying now.
[7:12] Otherwise, is he doing okay though? Yeah. Yeah. He doesn’t, you know, he, yeah, his color is good. His mental is good. Um, he, all his vitals are good. The home health nurse came yesterday. I have an appointment with urology, a phone appointment with urology this afternoon. And then I have a appointment, phone appointment with his primary care on Monday. So get all those things in place. When they brought him home, I had a few snafus in the hospital. I don’t know that I told you that he was acting kind of strange in ER at one point. And I told him something’s going on here. And she tried to tell me that it was like sundowners. I said, no, he doesn’t have that. And she wasn’t believing me. So she said, well, I’ll check his blood sugar anyway. And it was down to 46. So We got him right away.
[8:00] And then when they brought him home, they brought him in the big Hoya blanket, the hover blanket or whatever it is. And they set him down on the bed. Because I had somebody here to help me receive him and I wasn’t at bedside. So when I went and looked, I said, oh, no, I don’t want that under him. You guys need to take it out. Well, they didn’t gently roll him from side to side. They just pulled on it and they pulled on it. So when they pulled on it, his arm scraped against the bed and got a big old blister. Yeah. Big old tear in his skin. So, and he takes a long time to heal, you know? So the nurse came yesterday and she paid attention to that and dressed it really well and was giving me the supplies I’ll need to take care of that. And they elevated me to what they call home health plus. So for the first little bit of time, they’ll come every day. And once they get him more stable and satisfied that he’s static, then probably, you know, be reduced. But that is reassuring to me.
Advocacy in Caregiving
[8:58] Absolutely. I’m so glad, Vicki. I’m really, really glad. Yeah, it’s coming together. Oh, so then when they took, had to take the Hoya thing off. They didn’t want to take it with them. And so then I’m getting Bob settled and they leave. So I’m getting Bob settled. And there in his gown is a heart monitor. They didn’t take his heart monitor off of him. I mean, they took the tabs, but they forgot to physically take the machine. The machine. Yeah. Yeah. And so, and then I asked, I started looking around for his prescriptions because he was having to have two coming out of the hospital. And they told me at a hospital, don’t worry, we’ll have them pick them up before they transport them. They didn’t bring them. They didn’t bring them. So I could hold the heart monitor hostage until they brought me the medicines. And that’s what worked out. Because at first, when I told them, they said, oh, well, you know, anytime within the next hour, it’s convenient for you to bring us that heart monitor. We’ll exchange it for the medicine. No, let’s flip that. You bring it to me because I’m not going to leave my husband alone to, you know.
[9:58] Cover what should have been happening so you know we have to advocate absolutely I’m so glad that you advocate for him and for you yeah that’s one of the ones that’s one of the benefits is just learning how to be an advocate right so now I’m learning more about I have new experiences in my nursing care caregiver journey I’m learning about the foley how to empty it how to measure it um how to clean it and all that stuff. Some stuff you don’t really need to know.
[10:28] Not that you would sign up for the class, you know what I mean? Right. Unless you were a nurse, right? Yeah. So it’s always reassuring, but I do pay attention when they come so I can know how to do that. That’s helpful too. You’ve been doing such a tremendous job. Yeah. I feel good about that. Yeah. I feel good about you too. So I’m really glad that you reached out when it happened and looped me in and let me know. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we’ll definitely be closer. Yep. Well, I have. These are new steps. I got my phone. My handy dandy phone is usually attached.
Community Support and Resources
[11:03] All right, loveys, your turn. People who are really benefiting from the community are the people who joined earlier on before they need it and that have been active and are participating in the community because then they already know what questions to ask and they have a place to come and they’re not constantly wondering, what do I need to do? How do I need to do it? So people listening are interested in tapping into or learning about the community. I’d invite you to just go to the website, thinkdifferentdementia.com. There’s a link for you to schedule a 20-minute call. There’s no pressure. I’ll serve you regardless of whether you join the community or not. But it is a way for you to take this relationship a little deeper, a little bit more hands-on support because really the research also shows it’s longitudinal support over time. Yeah, for sure. I would highly recommend Lizette. She’s awesome.
[11:58] I appreciate that endorsement. You are well. Thank you, everybody, for listening today. And as I try to remember, I try to remember, I don’t always remember, may the Lord bless you and keep you and come back and listen some more. I’m hoping to do more of these coaching style episodes on a Friday. So come back in and check us out. And thank you for being here today.
