Dementia Caregiver Strategies: Transform Your Journey
One of Lizette’s most poignant takeaways is the importance of balancing care for your loved one with care for yourself.
The message here is to not just survive the caregiving journey but to navigate it in a way that allows both you and your loved one to thrive.
Understanding your God-given strengths and building routines that work with, rather than against, your natural abilities can lead to a more successful experience.
Read more: 171. How To Transform Any Activity Into A Meaningful Dementia Activity With Angela Fairhurst
A Journey Towards Success
If you’re feeling like dementia caregiving is a struggle, this episode offers hope. It’s not about having all the answers but about taking small steps towards a caregiving journey that is sustainable, supported, and centered on faith.
Caregiving can indeed feel like a burden at times. But with the right tools, community, and understanding of your unique strengths, it’s possible to navigate this journey with compassion and grace.
If you’re ready to make your caregiving experience more manageable, consider finding the community that supports you and strategies that align with who you are.
Join the Christian Dementia Caregiving Facebook Group today for more support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1301886810018410
Read More:
Talking About Caregiver Burnout With Michelle Gordon
Check the other podcasts: https://dignicarebydesign.com/category/podcast/
Transcript
[0:00] Hey, Christian caregiver, welcome to Christian Dementia Caregiving, the podcast where I teach Bible-believing Christians where to find practical help as well as how to find hope during their dementia caregiving journey. I am super excited that you still have time, if you have not registered yet, to sign up for tomorrow evening’s Ask the Dementia Coach monthly meetup, where you have an opportunity to participate and be on this podcast by coming on to a monthly meetup where I actually coach real people with real problems, giving them real solutions in real time. And if you haven’t been to one of these monthly meetups. They’re actually really fun and they’re actually very beneficial to the people who attend.
[0:57] So if you haven’t attended one, I invite you to sign up. The next one is tomorrow, Thursday, the 19th of September, which happens to be my birthday. So you can come hang out with me on my birthday. All you need to do is message me the word ask, A-S-K on Instagram or on Facebook Messenger, and you’ll get a link to register for the monthly meetup. Otherwise, you can look in the show notes. The link for registration is in the show notes. I only allow 10 to 12 people to sign up because I know approximately how many people will show up, and I want to be able to actually spend time with you and truly impact you and truly make a difference in your specific dementia caregiving journey. And by the way, I have to apologize. Apparently last week we had some technical difficulties when I recorded the podcast, so hopefully they have cleared up.
Monthly Meetup Invitation
[1:57] My team has been working very hard on making sure that we provide you with good quality. So yet again, I apologize for that, and I am excited that we can continue our conversations and our journey. So today’s episode is 172, and it’s how to transform dementia caregiving from a struggle into a success.
[2:22] So many of us start our caregiving journey in one of typically three different ways. The first one is the person, and I’ve used these analogies before, so they shouldn’t be surprising, right? The analogy of a frog pup.
[2:38] Put into cold water. When you put a frog into cold water and you slowly turn the temperature up, the frog does not protect itself and jump out of the water that is now slowly turning into a boil, and then you will have a boiled frog, right? So that is the first way that we become a caregiver. This is a caregiver who initially finds out or they suspect something is going on, but life is normal. They’re still able to do all their activities. They can participate in church, or they can take the kids on vacation, whatever. Life is fairly normal. And because we are humans that are created in the image of God, we are extremely creative.
[3:23] And what happens is because we have the ability to adapt and to be creative, we adapt and we adapt and we adapt. And we’re constantly slowly adapting to the changes that are occurring in our life in order for us to be able to function, to be able to do the activities we need to do. The problem with that is sometimes they are so insidious and slow, kind of like gaining 50 pounds, right? Sometimes it just happens because your clothes still fit and you still can do all the things that you did before, you don’t notice that you’re gaining that weight. Well, the same analogy holds true with a caregiver who is slowly adapting and changing, adapting and changing. And then one day they just lose the ability to adapt anymore. So that’s the first way a person typically becomes a caregiver. A second way a person becomes a caregiver is kind of how I and my family ended ended up in a caregiving situation.
[4:23] That is the crisis. That is something happened providentially that we were not expecting. Really honestly, in our journey, it happened when I was 19 years old. My mom had a massive humdinger of a stroke, an aneurysm at 42, and that actually toppled us into a caregiving family. Accepting at that point in time, I didn’t recognize that we had become family
Caregiving Journeys Explained
[4:51] caregivers pretty much from that period on because we were in the crisis. We dealt with the crisis. We did all the rehab. We did all of the things to help my mom get back on her feet and be able to drive and cook and clean and do all of the things that she had done before. But it definitely changed our lives and the trajectory of our lives, even though for a period we weren’t recognizing that we were a family. Family caregiving situation. So that the second way we become a family caregiver is by landing in a crisis. And when the crisis is over, we can continue on with our lives depending on, you know, what occurred, a broken hip that’s healed, those kinds of situations.
[5:37] But the third way we turn into family caregivers is a combination of the two. And this is the one that happened when my My dad got sick, so we landed in the crisis. We were in the hot water. We knew that things weren’t nice and pleasant. My dad had been in the hospital, back and forth between the hospital. We turned into caregivers. We did the whole home health therapy, nursing, everything, and we got my dad back on his feet. But after he recovered from the crisis, after we were through the crisis, then we were in the journey for the long haul. And this is where the caregiving journey actually started to change, right? So this is the part of the caregiving journey that now is the combination between the two, the crisis, and then the crisis is completed.
Transforming Caregiving into Success
[6:27] And then the caregiving journey continues and things slowly start to change.
[6:32] So how can you now transform your specific dementia caregiving journey from a struggle to success, right? So what I’m going to do today is briefly take you through the process that I take people through when I work with them.
Clarity to Care
[6:49] And it’s really a very easy four, five phase program, a five phase process that I take people through. And it’s actually kind of simple because it’s the who, the what, the why, the where, and the how, right? It’s that principle that I’m going to teach you today. But the first phase that we start with when we work together in a more structured perspective is the who. We start with the who in phase one. And I call this clarity to care. And I look at the who is involved from all perspectives.
[7:26] Who is the caregiver? Is it the spouse? Is it the adult child? Is it the grandchild? Is it the sibling? Who is the caregiver? And we start with that particular person and we look at a few things.
[7:39] We look at exactly where they are starting this journey from, how stressed they are, what concerns they have. We look towards their future, what their wants, needs, desires, and preferences are. We consider the entire caregiver first before we even look at the person who is receiving the care. We look at your stress levels. We look at your innate God-given strengths that you bring to the table because God created us all unique and different. And we all have unique and different strengths that we bring to the table. And if we don’t know what your particular strengths are, it’s very easy to just use a system or a process that works for the person who has designed the system or the process. But not each person has the same needs.
[8:35] For example, for me, one of my biggest frustrations and stressors as a caregiver is when I have to do multiple detailed follow-through activities all the time. So for example, medication management, when medication is needing to be filled at different times and I have to stop what I’m doing and actually follow through and go do that. So each person has a different, unique way of being wired and brings unique strengths to the table. So when we know what your particular strengths are, then we can actually customize and custom tailor your caregiving journey way more specifically for you so that you can be successful.
[9:18] And then we look at the person that you’re taking care of. We look at the relationship that you’re in. If it’s your parent, if it’s your spouse, if it’s your sibling, what phase of dementia, where they are in their particular journey. And we put together, we have an idea of exactly where we’re starting from. So that’s the first phase. clarity to care. This is where we start with the who. Who is involved in this journey? Who is the primary caregiver? What is the relationship? And how do we.
[9:50] Use your particular strengths as a caregiver to actually make this go from a struggle to a successful journey. Are you a Christian dementia caregiver struggling to cope? Does dementia caregiving really need to be this hard? I invite you to join our free monthly Ask the Dementia Coach meetup. Get personalized guidance and support from me, a pastor’s wife, occupational therapist, and Christian dementia coach. By blending evidence-based strategies with Christian principles, you can radically improve your caregiving experience. Register now for our next session of Ask the Dementia Coach. We limit registrations, so don’t miss out.
Capacity to Care
[10:39] Sign up today. day. The second part, the second phase is what I call the capacity to care. So that is the what to do, the what do I do? This is where the rubber hits the road, right? This is where I teach people in a community setting how to actually speak dementia, how to navigate the healthcare system, how to make the decisions, what decisions to make, how to respond to the responsive behaviors, what strategies and techniques can we build in, the what to do, the what to do when my person is asking repetitively, I want to go home, the what to do when my person is repetitively trying to walk out of the house. The day-to-day, where the rubber meets the road, daily challenges of caregiving. And that happens on a weekly basis through a variety of means, very accessible to my clients. People text me, people message me, we have a community where people can ask questions. So the second phase is the actual capacity that you need to have in order to be a successful entrepreneur.
[11:59] Caregiver, the what to do. Like I said, this is where the rubber meets the road. For example, how to use a gate belt, right? A belt around somebody’s waist in
Capable to Care
[12:10] order to help them transfer the what. The third phase of the program that I have put together for family caregivers is the why, the capable to care. And this is how you can, as a caregiver, navigate your dementia caregiving journey holistically for you. This is where we focus on you as the caregiver, because keeping the caregiver strong, keeping the caregiver healthy, keeping the caregiver from burning out means that I can help you to keep the person you love out of a facility-based care, if that is your desire and your want. This is how we navigate dementia caregiving from a holistic perspective.
[12:56] Where we look at your physical health, how you can prevent dementia for yourself. We look at your emotional health, and this is where we focus on your spiritual journey, how you are responding and navigating this particular God-given challenge or providence in a God-honoring and God-fearing manner to be beneficial to you and your spiritual growth and spiritual maturity as you navigate this process.
[13:30] Then the fourth phase that I take people through is the where. You know, the who, what, why, where.
Certainty to Care
[13:37] The where does this actually take place? And I call this certainty to care. and the reason for that is because it is the actual plan what you need to do when and where you’re going to do your specific dementia caregiving journey and the planning of a dementia caregiving journey is not as complicated as people make it out to be it’s actually fairly simple and it’s a plan that doesn’t necessarily have a specific by December 31st of 2024 we’re going to do. This is the community that I am building and growing around family caregivers who are believers, who want to do their caregiving journey in a different way, who want to be proactive.
[14:26] It’s called Connected to Care because all of these phases happen in a community. So it’s not just me helping a person, even though I work one-to-one with people as well. I have realized and recognized that the biggest benefit people are receiving from the community is the community with each other, where they have the opportunity to help one another. The community prays for each other. The community reaches out to one another when things happen and is really growing into something I never anticipated. And that is truly, truly a cohesive unit that is there to help and support one another. So this is where people get weekly access to me. And we actually go over the actual physical solutions to people’s physical real problems on a specific topic on a specific day. And so I just really wanted to take some time today to show you the path that you can take to go from struggle to success.
Connected to Care
[15:31] It is a very specific process that I take people through. Like I said, I start with you as the caregiver because we have to know what your strengths are. We have to know what your burden is. We have to know where your stressors are. And then we really focus on looking towards the future. Everything I do is future focused. I don’t know if any of you guys have actually, I’m hoping that most of you have actually read your Bibles. And if you read your Bible, it’s been interesting recently, I’ve been reading through the Bible again, and I noticed, and I mentioned to my husband, I’m like, the Bible is so future focused. Yes, we live in the present. Yes, there’s history right behind us and we live in the present, but the Bible is extremely future focused looking at the consummation of us and Christ when, you know, when all things are put back into the new heavens and the new earth, it’s so future focused. But we, when we’re living in the day-to-day, we do not necessarily live with a future-focused view. And so the caregiving journey I’m taking people on is future-focused. So we start with the who, that’s the clarity to care. The what, the capacity to care, how you learn to actually speak dementia, the actual skills to provide the care that you need to be able to provide.
[16:54] The third phase is the why, the capable to care, what I need to do to remain capable, right? I have to be capable through this journey in order for me to be able to provide care. The fourth phase is the certainty to care, where I’m going to provide the care that I’m going to provide. And then the last one is the connected to care, the community that we are building around you as a family caregiver. We’re all focused on navigating this journey in a easier, more holistic,
Join the Community Event
[17:28] more practical, more God-honoring, God-fearing manner. So if you haven’t yet had an opportunity to join me in one of the Ask the Dementia Coach monthly meetups tomorrow, September 19 at 6 p.m. Eastern is the next episode. You become a co-creator of this podcast.
[17:50] I have no idea what people are going to ask me. So it’s kind of fun to listen to these episodes because they’re unique and different, because these are real people just like you and me who are struggling and want to have a more successful journey in their caregiving. So you can message me the word ASK, A-S-K, on Messenger or on Instagram, or you can find the link in the show notes below for you to register for tomorrow’s Ask the Dementia Coach monthly meetup. I love doing these episodes. Please understand a couple of things.
[18:23] Number one, you do not need to be on camera if you choose not to be on camera. Number two, we can make you anonymous. You do not need to use your actual name. I just need a name that I can call you so that I can have a conversation with you. And number three, questions that you have are questions other people exactly like you are struggling with. So don’t be embarrassed or ashamed or afraid of asking these questions because other people are likely struggling with them too. And what a wonderful gift you can give other people by asking a question and having the dementia coach answer your specific question that could perhaps help somebody just like you with a particular struggle that they may not feel comfortable asking. So please take me up on this free offer to come on and be a co-creator of this podcast and share my birthday with me. And like I I end all of the podcast episodes. May the Lord bless you and keep you. And I pray for you every single day. My heart is here to serve you. And I look forward to seeing you maybe perhaps tomorrow on the Ask the Dementia Code meetup. And if not, like I said, I pray for you every day. And I look forward to seeing you in our next episode.
