How To Be Content As A Dementia Caregiver: Resources For Caregiving
In this episode, we focus on a crucial topic that hits home for many caregivers: contentment.
As caregivers, it’s easy to fall into feelings of frustration, resentment, and even anger as we navigate the challenging journey of caring for a loved one with dementia.
But this episode encourages caregivers to take a step back, reflect, and understand how contentment can transform their caregiving experience through a faith-based lens.
What Is Contentment?
Lizette begins with a relatable analogy of a child throwing a tantrum for not getting what they want—reflecting the root cause of discontentment: pride.
Just like that child, we sometimes find ourselves unhappy with our circumstances as caregivers. Whether it’s feeling unsupported by family, overwhelmed by caregiving duties, or simply wishing things were different, these feelings often stem from the belief that we “deserve better.”
But as Christians, we are reminded that what we truly deserve is separation from God, yet we have been gifted eternal life through Christ. This realization can reshape our outlook on caregiving and help us embrace a posture of gratitude.
The Antidote to Discontentment: Gratitude
A key point discussed in this episode is the idea that gratitude is the only antidote to discontentment. By shifting our focus from what we lack to what we have, we can find peace and contentment in even the most challenging caregiving situations.
Our God is a merciful, loving, and sovereign God who does all things for His glory and our good. Recognizing that our current caregiving journey is part of His divine plan can help us face it with a heart of thankfulness.
God’s Providence in Caregiving
Understanding and trusting in God’s providence is central to finding contentment. This episode emphasizes that nothing happens outside of God’s control, from the smallest frustrations we encounter to the larger struggles of caregiving.
God knows the number of hairs on our heads, and He knows every thought we have as caregivers. When we lean into this truth, we can find peace, knowing that God’s plan is at work in our lives and in the lives of those we care for.
A Call to Repent and Believe
If you find yourself feeling discontent, frustrated, or angry in your caregiving role, this episode calls you to repent and turn back to God. Repenting for discontentment and believing that God has equipped you with everything you need for this journey is essential.
In moments of struggle, remembering that contentment comes from resting in Christ can provide comfort and strength.
How Are You Finding Contentment in Your Caregiving Journey?
As caregivers, how are we cultivating gratitude and trust in God’s providence during this journey?
What steps can we take to shift from frustration to contentment in our daily caregiving responsibilities?
Are You A Christian Dementia Caregiver Struggling To Cope With Caregiving? Join the FREE “Ask the Dementia Mentor” Monthly Meet Up! And be on the podcast, get support and your questions answered.https://dementiacaregivingmadeeasy.com/ask
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Transcript
[0:01] Hey, Christian caregiver, welcome to Dementia Caregiver Support for Christians, the podcast where I teach Bible-believing Christians how to make dementia care easier today,
Contentment in Caregiving
[0:14] while also helping you reimagine a brighter tomorrow. Today’s episode, we are going to talk about being content as a dementia caregiver, and And it may be a little bit different than the episodes I normally do, because I just wanted to talk to you a little bit about contentment and what is contentment and what does it all mean. So it may be a little bit more fluid than some of the other episodes, maybe a little less structured. But anyway, here’s a few things that the Lord has put on my heart today as I’ve been recording these episodes for you. I want you to imagine, and we’ve all seen this, a child in a grocery store or in a supermarket or in a toy store who is pitching a tantrum because they did not get what they want. They didn’t get the toy in the store, and you as the parent are standing there watching this child throwing a temper tantrum.
[1:13] Knowing that this child has hundreds of toys at home that they don’t play with half of the time, but they want that particular toy. They’re unhappy with their circumstances because they didn’t get what they wanted. Now, what is the root of that discontentment that we see that child exhibiting at that moment in time? And the root cause of that child’s temper tantrum is pride. And I want you to consider what Romans 6 verse 23 says, that the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
[1:59] What we as believers all deserve is death. We deserve eternal damnation, separation from God. But we have been redeemed by Jesus to become a Christian, a believer, and in fellowship with God. And that means that we are in a different relationship. And that also means that ultimately when we meet Jesus after we pass away is that we will have life everlasting.
[2:32] However, we live in the now and that is the not yet, right? That is going to be in the future. But when we start to think about whatever our circumstances in life is, you know, my husband’s cheating on me or I don’t have as much money as I would like or I don’t have as nice a car as I would like, or that’s unfair, my family isn’t helping me related to my caregiving needs or any of these kinds of thoughts that we have that we feel like we don’t deserve what we have or what we are receiving, we are discontent. And the root of discontentment is pride. And pride it is because we believe that we deserve the best. We deserve to have things our way. Well, I will tell you, I’ve mentioned it on the podcast several times before that my mom and dad put us in boarding school when we were super young. I was 12, my sister was 10, and I was like, I really struggled for many, many years in working through that entire situation.
[3:42] And it took me a long time to truly work through it. But the entire time that I was discontented, that it had been done to me, that I had no control over it, that I was a victim of my circumstances, that how could they do this to me? It was, oh, woe is me and doom and gloom. As long as I was in that specific space and I was angry all the time, it was a reflection of my own heart. And the root of all of that was my own pride and my anger in believing that I deserved better. Well, the reality of the matter is I deserve death, right? The wages of sin is death. And so when we are a caregiver.
[4:30] When we are a family caregiver as a Christian of a person living with dementia, whether it be a spouse, whether it be a parent, whether it be a child, whether it be a sibling, and we have these experiences or thoughts that come up in our mind that we don’t deserve this, that this is so difficult, that it should be, you know, we should not need to be experiencing these things. I really want to encourage you, sweet Christian family caregiver, I really want to encourage you today to stop and just ask yourself,
Gratitude as an Antidote
[5:07] am I being discontented with my specific circumstances? Because there is only one antidote to discontentment, and that is gratitude. Gratitude and contentment in our situation and in our circumstances. We serve a wonderful, kind, loving, merciful.
[5:33] Long-suffering God who does all things for His glory and for our good, which means that this particular situation that you are navigating as a dementia caregiver is for your good and for His glory. And so when we come to the Lord in a frame and in a posture of gratitude for not getting what we deserve, which is death, specifically death separated from Him.
[6:04] Then it will help you in the long run be content as a caregiver for somebody living with dementia. When we understand God’s providence, that God is in control of everything. He created the world in six days and rested on the seventh, and he spoke this world that we see into existence out of nothing. We can’t make anything out of nothing. We can make things, but we’re making things out of something that God has already created. When you understand the providence of God, that he is sovereign, that he is in control, and not a hair can fall out of my head without him already knowing that it’s going to happen, that he already knows the thoughts of my heart, the meditations of my brain, everything, everything. He already knows it. He knows your frustration as a caregiver. He already knows exactly, exactly when your journey as a caregiver, when your journey in a dementia journey with somebody.
Understanding God’s Providence
[7:16] He knows when it’s going to end. He knows everything.
[7:20] He is sovereign. And when you understand providence, it can make you be grateful and it can allow you to have contentment. And then also understanding that this too is a part of your sanctification process, a part of your being made more holy like Christ will also help you be more content as a caregiver because ultimately contentment is resting in Christ. That is where our ultimate contentment comes from. And I can tell you, I have been struggling personally over the last several weeks because one of my biggest frustrations is my relationship with my dad is super, super tumultuous, for lack of a better word. And we get into this very negative cycle. And I really had to stop and reflect on it because I would get super, super angry with him. And I work very hard on not getting angry, but every single time I’m stepping in it, I step in it. I step in it. And then I really had to ask myself, why am I getting so angry? And the answer wasn’t pretty.
[8:29] And the Lord put it on my heart through his Holy Spirit that the reason I was getting angry was because I was discontented because I felt like I deserved better. I felt like I should not necessarily need to quote unquote, put my life on hold, not move to be closer to my kids or not be able to do X, Y, Z, whatever it is, right?
[8:50] And that the root of my anger related to my response to my dad, yes, partially it is.
[8:58] Our relationship has always been that way, but I can work on controlling myself, right? The Lord gives us the ability to control ourselves. So I really had to stop and say to myself, why are you getting so angry? And the answer from the Lord was that I was discontent. I was discontent because I am prideful and I haven’t gotten my way. And so I really want to encourage you today as a caregiver, if you are feeling angry, if you are feeling frustrated, if you are feeling annoyed, or if you are having these types of emotions, we need to really stop and ask ourselves, kind of like I had to stop and ask myself is, what is the root of that? Is it because I believe that I deserve better, that I should not have to have
The Call to Repent
[9:46] this particular burden, this particular journey on me? And if that is the case, the Lord tells us to repent, to turn away from it and believe.
[9:56] Repent and believe. We are mandated to repent and believe. And when we repent and believe, He will be there to, He’s already forgiven those sins, but we are are mandated to ask. And so as a Christian caregiver, when we are feeling discontent.
[10:13] I beg of you, repent of that particular sin and believe that the Lord will give you exactly what it is that you
Personal Reflections on Discontentment
[10:20] need to navigate this dementia caregiving journey in a contented fashion. So like I said, today’s episode is a little bit different, but the Lord put it on my heart because I have been struggling with my own discontentment. And so I wanted to share that with you. I would love feedback from you related to what kind of episodes you guys like, which type of episodes you want more of. There is a way that you can actually message me and we will put the link in the show notes. It is speakpipe.com forward slash think different dementia. So www.speakpipe.com dot com forward slash Think Different Dementia. You can go there and you can leave me a 90 second feedback on these episodes and let me know what you would like to hear more of. And really, honestly, I’m trying to grow this podcast to reach specifically
Connecting with the Community
[11:18] Christian caregivers, just like you and me. And so if you know other Christians who are family caregivers of somebody Living with Dementia. Please share these episodes with them. I also have a Facebook group. It is the same name as the podcast, which is Dementia Caregiver Support for Christians.
[11:38] And so join the Facebook group, go check out the new website, which just went live this week and come dialogue with me, visit with me. I do have a free workshop. It’s not too late to sign up for one of those. So come hang out, come visit, come listen, come share. I love serving you. And I want you to truly, truly know and understand. I pray for family caregivers of people living with dementia every single day. And you are on my heart. You’re on my mind. And I hope that the Lord blesses you for the remainder of this day. And I look forward to seeing you in the next episode.
