When Dad loses the ability to drive, he develops an immediate transportation dependency. He can no longer supply his own transportation by driving himself, so transportation now has to happen another way.
That change does not tell you everything.
Dad may no longer drive safely and still be able to decide where he needs to go, make an appointment, arrange a ride, or manage other parts of his life. Losing one ability does not establish that he has lost every other ability with it.
And Dad’s new dependency does not automatically mean you become responsible for replacing everything his driving used to make possible.
That can happen quietly. Dad has an appointment, so you drive him. Mom needs to go somewhere, so you take her. There are groceries or a prescription to pick up, so you do that too. Before long, one family member may be supplying nearly all of the transportation Dad used to supply.
That transportation does not all have to be supplied the same way. Dad may still arrange some of it himself. Friends or church members may help. Deliveries or paid transportation may replace some trips. Other family members may take particular pieces. And some parts of ordinary life may need to happen differently rather than being reproduced exactly as before.
So the question after Dad stops driving is not simply, “Who is going to drive him now?”
It is:
- What was Dad’s driving making possible?
- What still needs to happen?
- What can Dad still manage or arrange himself?
- What now actually requires another person or another resource?
- And what is no longer realistic to continue in exactly the same way?
Dad’s inability to drive creates a real transportation requirement. It does not, by itself, determine who must personally meet every part of that requirement.
In this episode of Dementia Caregiver Support for Christians, I work through what really changes when Dad can no longer drive, what does not necessarily change with it, and how to think about what his new transportation dependency actually requires in your caregiving situation.
Timestamps
01:06 — What happens after Dad with dementia stops driving?
04:25 — Why the fight to stop driving isn’t the whole problem
10:32 — Dad stopped driving, but the rest of his life did not
12:17 — Why losing the ability to drive creates immediate dependency
14:15 — When one family member quietly becomes the transportation system
16:17 — Other ways transportation can be supplied
18:44 — What was Dad’s driving actually making possible?
20:01 — Working out what this change requires in your caregiving situation
READ MORE:
Episode 359. Should You Correct Your Husband with Dementia at His Doctor’s Appointment?
